Poetry Portfolio

I really haven’t explored poetry before; maybe a Haiku here, and a silly, short poem there. I didn’t even realize it is possible to REVISE a poem. So this has been more poetry than I’ve ever done in my life. Plus, the feedback, discussion and reading of poems has helped me understand how to make a poem more meaningful and enjoyable to read. Thanks WATO!!!!

This is going to be a portfolio of all my revised poems. These three poems (I’ll add more) are the ones I’ve worked the hardest on and am most proud of. Enjoy the revisions :) Amelia

Haikus

photo

Pale pink faces hide

among blades of tall lush grass

her name is clover

———————————-

birds trill in shade trees

milk is spilled across

an empty blue sky

———————————–

Fern fronds face about

a venture in triangles

fabric from 80′s

Boarding School

image

You turn at the big white sign

onto a smooth

one-laner

It is not one-way

but it is for you

new faces

from all over the world

you’re looking for new friends

and they are too

trees hug the road

on either side

and stretch their fingers out

mingling with old and new companions

from across a divide.

These Hills

photo8

Where I’m from,

the hills are made from coffee ice cream,

scoops melting away in the sun.

Sometimes, they sprout wings and fly.

Sometimes, you stand on the top of the world

with the sun-bleached sky above you.

Has someone stood here before?

a Native American,

his short hair shorn with tears and blood?

his white-faced brother gazing upon the Sierras?

Or maybe a lone coyote

with a single glance at the falling moon

before slipping into the solitary desert night.

Those same hills being eaten away

(with a spoon)

by the life-force that flows

from the tears of the snow-capped lady.

Who knows how these hills will change.

Who knows how many other eyes

will call this place home?

He Lands

Lightly,

his muscles bulging

under red and blue fabric

his cape falling onto broad shoulders.

I stand on the opposite roof, behind the stair well.

I think he does not see me.

like a dream,

surreal,

fantastic.

Suddenly, he stretches

strong arms reaching

flexible enough that he touches his toes,

Bending down

as if to tie a shoe.

I blink in surprise

that this super-human

should have done

such a mundane task

I have a secret now

that no one else will share

blossoming in my chest.

He shrugs,

And flies away.

 

2 thoughts on “Poetry Portfolio

  1. Really nice work, Amelia. I’d love to read more if you’re interested in posting others. The addition of “(with a spoon)” in “These Hills” works well. As I’ve said many times, I appreciate the unexpected, and sometimes simply adding a brief parenthetical can achieve this effect. Plus is echoes the opening ice cream imagery. I’ve also a fan of the title “He Lands.” We most often imagine Superman in flight, so twisting that around creates a nice effect. He’s not flying; he’s stretching his superhuman muscles, revealing to the narrator a secret about his (slight) fragility. I also like how he shrugs. That’s a great short line — which is another strategy that I appreciate in poetry. The shorter the line, the more impact it can create because it carries more weight. Glad you bought into the process of revising. That will serve you well, and I think we’re already starting to see your fine ability to make good choices about your own writing.

  2. I also like the line about the “secret blossoming in my chest.” Makes me think of the big “S” that Superman wears on HIS chest. I wonder if you could make this connection even more apparent or significant in some way.

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